Sock on the Door (For Peter)

[st_x5_494]

It was sometime in the afternoon when Alec returned to the room. He hadn't been back since he came upon a sock on the door and so he spent the night with someone else. He had to give Peter props for the amount of times the kid was using the sock, but he was slightly surprised every time he'd come in, take one look at Peter, and just know nothing happened. Alec often wondered what the hell was wrong with Peter since it seemed like they were both willing to get busy with one another, but at least he was having sex and at the end of the day, that was wall that mattered.

When he pushed through the door, he called out a 'hey! I'm back." In case Peter cared, which Alec knew he would.

Comments

[st_arkintern]

"No, not about sex," Peter says, shaking his head. "You couldn't think for yourself before, and now you can. You've changed your mind on things --"

Like sex.

"-- because someone's no longer telling you how you feel. And you seem to realize now that it's pretty screwed up."

Or at least that's what Peter was getting from Alec's explanation of Manticore and sex earlier.

"How do you feel about everything they made you think? About them for making you think it?"

[st_x5_494]

That was a pretty complex question. Something Max would ask him and expect some profound meaning of life revelation because she seemed to have them all the time. Max was constantly trying to come to terms with how Manticore fit into her life and how to deal with it.

"Manticore tried to barbeque us alive, so I'm not really fond of them, but I see their point in what they were trying to do. I mean, who wouldn't want the best soldiers to defend a country?" Alec was being truthful here. He knew how valuable he was as an asset.

"I like being able to take naps."

[st_arkintern]

There were times where Peter was completely and entirely capable of understanding where Alec was coming from, and this was definitely one of them.

Peter shifts to the edge of the bed so he's closer to Alec and lets his legs hang down.

"Don't you think it's important for those people to have autonomy? To be able to make their own decisions? Yeah, maybe some people would say that it's important for everyone to be aligned or something, but if everyone's blindly following the same orders, if something happens and everyone reacts the wrong way, everybody's dead."

[st_x5_494]

"You learn to like it." Alec leaned back idly on the chair, teetering it on two legs. "You'd be surprised how much easier things feel when you don't have to figure shit out for yourself."

The kids had it the worse. They would find one hiding and the kid would have a hard time not just following them around like a lap dog.

[st_arkintern]

This still isn't making any sense to him. Yeah, sometimes it helped to have someone else making the calls. Like when Mr. Stark told him what to do in Germany. But that was because it was his first big fight and he wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to do. All that was new to him, and they had to work as a team.

But all the time? Constantly? How could he like that? How could he ever even begin to like that?

"Would you rather go back to someone telling you what to do?"

[st_x5_494]

"Hell no." That answer came quickly and easily without the need to think about it.

"But I know a few who would. Most of the kids your age and under would. We don't exactly have a lot of parents to spare for the seven year old who need direction." He looked at Peter. "Regular people like being told what to think all the time. What clothes to buy, who to worship, what to look like, what car to buy..."

[st_arkintern]

Peter frowns at that.

"Yeah, everyone needs direction sometime," Peter says. "Even I do. But there's still things I'd never do. Even if Mr. Stark told me to. Even if it were just easier to listen to him and do what he said."

Peter can think of a few times when listening to Mr. Stark would have made his life significantly easier, but he refused to do so anyway.

[st_x5_494]

"Sure. But until you're sent out in missions all you know is Manticore. And then when you do, you find poverty and disease and starvation. Most people can't feed themselves or have a job. More people living in shacks than houses." He shrugged. "The clean, three meal-a-day, warm bed place you've grown up in looks pretty peachy to most."

[st_arkintern]

Peter knows he can't argue any more than he has already. Even if he doesn't understand it, he can at least accept that someone might be more inclined to accept a life of taking orders from others if that guaranteed a better life than others.

Peter takes a big breath, as if he's about to say something --

-- and then doesn't actually say anything at all.

Peter doesn't know what to say.

[st_x5_494]

"Look, don't worry about it." He knew his world upset Peter for some reason. Alec brought the chair back to all for legs on the ground. "You have your own thoughts, I have my own thoughts." They couldn't do anything about the people at home. "That's why I want to punch you in the face sometimes." He joked, but it was also kind of true - Peter's ability to think contrary meant a lot of clashes that way.

[st_arkintern]

"I just wish things weren't so awful for you back home," he says. "It makes me really angry that things can get that bad and no one is doing anything to stop it." He thinks about all the bad things happening back home that even he can't stop. The stuff he talked about with River Song. "That no one did anything to stop it before it got where it is now."

[st_x5_494]

"We were supposed to be the solution." Alec shrugged. He wasn't as bothered by it as Peter was.

[st_arkintern]

It bothers Peter how cool Alec is being about all this.

"Yeah, but shouldn't they have had a solution before things got that bad? Shouldn't they have a solution that didn't involve brainwashing people?"

[st_x5_494]

"I don't know. The world went to shit really quickly when the Pulse happened." Alec never knew anything else until the Inn.

"Why does this matter so much to you? You're fine."

[st_arkintern]

"It matters to me because I wouldn't want you to live that," he says. "Because I wouldn't -- I don't..."

Peter swallows and looks down at his hands.

"I don't want you to go back to that."

[st_x5_494]

He was quiet for a second.

"...maybe you might understand then how I don't want you going back to your place either."

[st_arkintern]

Peter looks up, puzzled. He doesn't understand.

"My reality isn't straight out the pages of a dystopian novel."

[st_x5_494]

How Peter could nerd up any conversation was beyond him. Alec realized Logan would probably really like him. Still, he inwardly sighed.

"Never mind." How it was hard for Alec to say 'I don't want you to die' was beyond him. "Can we change the subject, please? I liked it better when you were embarrassed about not sleeping with your girlfriend."

[st_arkintern]

"I think if you could see it, you'd realize it wasn't that bad," Peter says. And then he drops it.

"What'd you want to talk about, then?" Peter asks. "And not me and Liz." As much as Alec seemed to enjoy it, the last thing Peter wanted to talk about was their sex life right now. Admitting all that to Alec was embarrassing enough.

[st_x5_494]

"I don't know." He wasn't good at conversations unless it was about women. He and Sketchy got along great because of it. Wait - "Can we talk about other girls here?"

[st_arkintern]

"Yeah," Peter says. "As long as you don't get weird about it."

Peter suspects that Alec will still find some way to get weird about it.

[st_x5_494]

He sent him a look that seemed to say 'why would it be weird?'

"Okay. So, ignoring Liz-" to which there was a pointedly 'no cop outs' look directed to him. "Top 3 cutest chicks. She doesn't matter."

[st_arkintern]

Peter looks down, as always, embarrassed and doesn't say anything for a full minute. It felt weird acknowledging that women other than Liz were attractive. Like this was somehow wrong.

"Probably... Corbie, River, and Moana," he says. "Don't ask me to rank them." Just admitting he found them attractive was enough.

[st_x5_494]

Alec was going to assume he meant River Tam and not River Song who, as Alec knew from experience, would probably break Peter's mind in bed. Tam was probably a better one to find attractive.

"Not bad." Though two of them were off the table for Alec. "Definite theme. Though Corbie's blonde so good mixing that up." He thought about it. "Corbie's definite top three. But I'd have to go with Maya and Emma instead."

Alec... Didn't have a type. His type was women. Though perhaps it was just 'strong women'.

[st_arkintern]

Peter frowns at Alec's theme comment. It wasn't like he was intentionally trying to pick women who shared some common trait.

"Why are you so interested in who I find attractive, anyway?"