Morning Run (Closed to Peter

[st_x5_494]

Alec believed Peter when he said he'd be up. He knew Peter would take the challenge seriously, too, because the kid had this wish to show people he could do things. He just hoped Peter was actually ready for the amount of running today - almost 50 miles - and that he could keep up.

He padded out of his room in jogging pants and a t-shirt and eyed the room. "Ready or not, time to get your ass kicked."

Comments

[st_arkintern]

"You're not taking this seriously," Peter moans. He's pretty sure Alec is just screwing with him. "Come on, Alec. Just close your eyes and think about something you think would be cool. And not women and not alcohol and not any of that other stuff," he says, because he knows there's almost certainly something that he's neglected to put on that list.

[st_x5_494]

He sighed. "Fine. But for the record that really happened.. except for the high five part."

Alec closed his eyes though, just for Peter, and tried to think of something. It took him a long time.

"We're in Jam Pony and we're surrounded by cops and White's people are coming in... and instead of leaving them there, we kill them and kill White and don't ever have to worry about them again."

He opened his eyes with an expression that said 'good enough'?

[st_arkintern]

Peter frowns at that.

At the root of every good daydream is something that someone really wants. All the other details are there to form a cohesive narrative in which you somehow manage to get whatever that thing is that you really want. Most of Peter's daydreams were fairly indirect: he wanted to be respected and validated and heroic, though it was said in many more words than that.

But Alec's daydream is strangely direct.

"Is that what you want? For White and his people to be dead?"

[st_x5_494]

He shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much. Would make the world a better place and we'd have to stop running and hiding." And unlike Peter's version of life, the only way they were going to be stopped was through death.

[st_arkintern]

Peter sorta wishes he'd let Alec just make up a daydream about girls or money or something.

"I have this daydream sometimes, where I'm applying for colleges and I don't let Mr. Stark know where I'm applying because I really want to get in because of my own merits and not because he had some extra pull," he says. "I go into Columbia for the college interview and I'm not freaking out at all. I'm confident and all my answers are exactly what they want to hear and I know it."

Peter nods lightly. His eyes are opened, but set on a fixed point, like he's watching it all play out in front of him, like on TV.

"Two weeks later, I get the acceptance letter. I've got a full scholarship and May doesn't have to worry about anything. And it's close by so I can commute so I can still live with May and protect Queens."

He looks over at Alec and doesn't say anything. Not because he doesn't know what to say, but because he doesn't really have anything else to. Sometimes, even this daydream feels completely out-of-scope, like taking on alien forces or winning Mr. Stark's approval.

But what else were daydreams for?

[st_x5_494]

Alec got the sense that Peter daydreamed a lot.

"That doesn't sound like a day dream so much as a plan of action." Alec could at least think of those.

[st_arkintern]

"Yeah," Peter says, trying to sound more sure of himself than he felt. Honestly, he'd been ready to throw college away until he defeated the Vulture and Mr. Stark took him to the Avengers Facility. After that, though, he thought that maybe college wouldn't be so bad, and that maybe he could handle both; he'd managed high school and the Vulture, after all -- even though it meant he was being called to the principal's office all the time.

But in the future, it sounded like he wasn't fighting high-tech alien weapons dealers in New York; he was fighting really bad guys in space. This wasn't missing Decathlon Nationals. He was probably gonna miss a lot more school than that.

"I don't think I'm gonna do that well on the interviews, though," Peter says, scratching his cheek. "I always get really nervous about that stuff."

That was also a big part of why this was a daydream.

"You have any others?"

[st_x5_494]

"Any what?" Alec watched Peter for a moment. He needed way more confidence. Even with a girlfriend and some ass-hat telling him he was an Avenger, it seemed Peter still doubted himself.

"Daydreams?... I don't know if you notice, but I suck at them." He paused. "I can tell you over twenty different ways to exit the inn in case of different scenarios, though - that's how my brain is wired."

[st_arkintern]

"You're not gonna get better at it unless you try," Peter says. "Like running."

[st_x5_494]

"Maybe I shouldn't. I have a family history of letting my imagination turn me into a psycho-killer."

[st_arkintern]

Peter would tell him that he doesn't think he's a psycho-killer, except Alec has told him he's killed people before and he just thinks it'd start an argument about whether or not Alec was responsible for his actions when he was brainwashed.

"You said earlier that you never imagine anything," Peter points out, but he's going to let it drop there.

"I just think it's more fun than always looking for danger all the time." Even though there did end up actually being danger during their run.

A beat, and then:

"I'm starting to feel a little better. The stitches itch, though."

[st_x5_494]

Ben was a bit different that Alec. He had gone crazy. Alec tried not to think about it too much.

"The stitches are there so you didn't bleed out. Itching means it's healing." He paused. "You going to tell anyone what happened?"

[st_arkintern]

"No," Peter says, in a why-would-you-even-ask sort of tone. "Are you?"

[st_x5_494]

"Yeah. I figured I'd tell Kitty, first, then Liz, then re-enact the whole thing in the lobby." Alec deadpanned, looking at Peter.

[st_arkintern]

Peter frowns.

"Why'd you ask me if I was gonna tell anyone, then?"

[st_x5_494]

Because Peter was a boy scout sometimes.

"You're really defensive, you know that?"

[st_arkintern]

"Only when I need to be," Peter counters. Truthfully, he'd been more agreeable until he met Mr. Stark, but that was because no one really challenged him until that point. Yeah, Ned did sometimes after he found out he was Spider-Man, but Ned usually backed down.

Mr. Stark and Alec really didn't.

[st_x5_494]

That got an eye-roll from Alec, but then he lifted up his arms. "Alright, fine. I surrender."

[st_arkintern]

Peter runs a hand through his hair. "Why do you bring up the whole defensive thing, anyway?"

[st_x5_494]

"Because you're trying to hard, and it shows." Alec didn't know how to explain it, but he didn't buy everyone's 'one day Peter will see the errors of his ways' bullshit. "I'm an asshole and I acknowledge it."

[st_arkintern]

Peter has to bite back the urge to tell Alec that he's not trying too hard.

"What am I supposed to acknowledge?" he asks, finally. Peter at least seems amenable to listening.

[st_x5_494]

"I don't know, Peter. Maybe that everyone needs help, including you, and that you're still learning because everyone is still learning?"

Talking with Peter was frustrating.

[st_arkintern]

Peter sighs and leans back in his chair. For a few seconds, he doesn't say anything.

"This isn't the first time I screwed up," he says, scratching his arm through the bandage. "I know I need to do better. I just don't need people telling me I need to."

I'm not a kid, he wants to say, but he doesn't.

[st_x5_494]

"Who's telling you?" Alec looked at him. He usually tried to do it naturally and then Peter called him out on it and made a big whiney deal.

[st_arkintern]

Peter tries to pull a name out of a list, but no one at the inn explicitly ever said that to him.

"They all act like it!" Peter says, exasperated. He lets out a sigh.

"I just wish I could be better. I'm tired of waiting for it to happen."